Samson was created as the strongest person on earth. When God created Samson, he gave him 3 very important instructions:
"You are to liberate my people from the oppression of the Philistines, You are never to cut your hair and most importantly, Be very careful with Instagram Models, they can ruin your life."
Samson was the fittest man alive. Cristiano Ronaldo has 6 packs, Samson had 12. He was super like that. At the age of 11 Samson had already completed all gyming levels in the gym. At 16 he had won all the weight lifting categories at the 8500 BC Olympics in ancient Greece. He was banned from competing further.
"One pezzin cannor coman be winning everything every time. Let the normal humans compete." The official expulsion statement issued by the IOC read.
Samson had a pet Dinosaur, a pet dragon and a pet elephant in his compound. One time he mistakenly jogged across Kenya and one yeye lion attacked him... You know the rest of the story.
Samson got bored with life. He had tried boxing, but on his debut match his opponent passed out after the first punch. So he stopped boxing. He couldn't do anything exciting anymore so he decided to just chill at home and maybe press phone small. It was in his search for excitement that he joined Instagram, ignoring God's warning. Infact according to CNN archives, the moment Samson joined IG he blocked God so that God won't come on his post to nag him. This is a warning for all of you who blocked your parents on Facebook smh.
Samson started posting sexy pictures of his 12-packs abs and his sexy dreads. According to the unconfirmed rumours, the moment Samson got on IG about 2000 philistines deactivated their IG accounts. They feared him like that. One time some guy from the Philistines tried to troll Samson on his IG post, he killed everyone in the guy's village except the guy; Just to pass a message.
But among those still on IG was a philistine model named Delilah. Her IG handle was @Delilahawt. She was sexy to death- The personified form of goat-head pepper soup. Her skin was a combination of Jollof-yellow and Chicken-brown. Her eyes were almost as sexy as mine (☺☺☺☺). From the way she was sexy you could tell that diswan was from the marine Kingdom. But since Uncle Samson doesn't watch Nigerian films so he couldn't tell. She gained his attention by liking all his pictures on IG and then following him. He checked her profile, liked what he saw, followed her back and you know the rest.
One of those times she was trying so hard to know his secret, she asked him what his weakness was.
"Fried dodo and gizzard", he said, fondling her soft full black hair. "Just give me fried dodo with Jollof and I'll be powerless".
"Hmmmm... Are you sure?", she quizzed suspiciously. "Look into my eyes and tell me you're not lying", she said. But trust men, he looked into her soul and still lied.
However, She cooked the Jollof, spiced with snails and fried dodo-Deep fried and reddish- and gizzard. The aroma was perceived all through the lands of Israel, down to Moab and Gilgah, and Midian and all of the lands around it. When the aroma passed through Ammon, the Ammonites bowed down and worshipped it saying-
"this must be the smell of god".
They still worship the aroma till this day. The type of Jollof you would taste once and hit orgasm twice. It was so powerful that even Samson couldn't contain himself after he ate it. He loved it so much that he trusted Delilah with all his important secrets; the power in his hair and something even more secret- His Facebook password.
You know the rest of the story. Too lazy to type. Mention your friends 😁
*YOUR COMMENTS/OPINIONS ARE WELCOMED*
0 Comment to "KINGZ PALACE: Bible Retold, Episode Three ....Samson & Delilah on Instagram "
Post a Comment